That’s what she said! No word of a lie. We were sitting across from each other at a popular restaurant in New York City. I had taken no more than a few sips of my glass of wine when the all too familiar tingling of my alcohol flush onset began to take my attention away from her beautiful gaze.
Dates can go always wrong.
A date can go wrong in so many ways. Unexpectedly bumping into an ex-lover who happens to be the best friend of your date, regurgitating the pastrami and rye sandwich you had for lunch because you drank too much the night before, or even despite your date’s model-like appearance you feel that you could have a more interesting conversation with an inanimate brick-wall.
With the plethora of scenarios that can, and have, gone wrong for us, you can imagine the disappointment after hearing “Are you about to spontaneously combust?”. “Oh, no.. really.. i’m fine, I have a problem where I turn red in the face when I drink alcohol”, is pretty much the standard response. You might as well be saying “Yes, I can’t drink alcohol without breaking out into this unsightly and embarrassing reaction. I understand that being seen in public with me is now slightly embarrassing for you, and I don’t blame you if you want to stand up and leave our date right now.”
Refrain from drinking?
As harsh as it sounds, this is the reality for a lot of people with this problem. It is no secret that people are superficial, especially when it comes to first impressions. It didn’t take me very long to realize that going red in the face was not the most successful dating strategy. So what should one do? Perhaps don’t drink any alcohol at all?
I tried this on a different date with a different girl, obviously the aforementioned date was not successful. She was sitting across from me and ordered a glass of the house Chardonnay. The waiter then looked at me and said “for you sir?” I looked at the non-alcoholic drinks section of the menu and in the most confident tone I could muster I ordered a soda water with a lemon. Now, I challenge anyone to order a soda water with a lemon after their date has ordered a glass of wine and not come off as being a big soft girly man. The waiter looked at me strangely and then with a restrained yet blatantly noticeable smirk, he replies “very well sir, a soda water and a lemon for you.”
Suddenly I’m a psycho.
This was just the beginning of the embarrassment. “Oh, you don’t drink?” she inquired. “Oh, no I get a bad reaction from alcohol so I try to avoid it” I responded in brief, trying my best to move on from the topic. “What kind of bad reaction?” she persisted, now with a look of concern in her eye. “Oh no, I don’t get aggressive and I’m not a recovering alcoholic or anything… I just go red in the face when I drink alcohol” I replied. She simply shrugged and then gave a rather unconvincing nod which said “whatever, I’m pretty sure you turn into a psycho when you drink alcohol so i’m not going to see you for a second date.” We made it to the end of the date and I never saw her again.
Girls don’t get it any easier.
My sister suffers from the same problem as me. She spends so much time presenting herself nicely and ensuring that her make-up is looking great before she leaves the house, and I’m sure she’s not alone. Our society encourages the superficial pursuit of beauty and, like it or not, people will judge you according to these arbitrary tastes. Good looking is more popular than ugly, that’s just the way it is.
It is always a struggle for my sister. She looks great until she has her first drink of alcohol. After that it is like all of her hard work goes out the window when her face and neck break out in a red flush.
Conscious again to not appear overly superficial, it is hard to refute the reality that someone with a red swollen face is likely to appear much less attractive to than someone with a normal complexion. If you’re someone who doesn’t care what other people think, then I applaud you. But if you’re like most of us the last thing you want if for your best efforts to be thwarted by an unsightly red rash on your face.
Alcohol is here to stay.
Again, avoiding alcohol altogether is an option, albeit a poor and unrealistic one. Our entire social fabric revolves around people coming together over a ceremonial drink of alcohol. Business gatherings, birthday celebrations, dates, dinner parties, cocktail parties, the list just goes on and on. It is the cornerstone of socializing in today’s society, so to avoid it would be to opt out a fundamental part of our social lives.
The smarter option would be to explore the various ways to drink alcohol without experiencing the flush response. This site has been specifically designed to aid you in that search, so please take your time and have a look around for what might work for you.